On Being a Priestess in a Modern World
Most people come to me when they are living with some form of discontent.
They find themselves in a stuck place that feels intractable. They know they aren’t feeling good, but they can’t always put their finger on what needs to shift. Something is off.
The garden of their life has become overgrown. There are weeds choking off the experience of Love, Peace, Self-Expression and Vocation, Health, and Abundance. These are the Big Five arenas we explore when creating a deeply joyful life.
Together, we begin by discovering what vision or desire wants to be planted. What seed is waiting beneath the surface? Then we nurture that seed through inquiry, reflection, practice, and conscious action. We create the conditions for it to emerge and bloom in its own unique way.
One of the most potent tools we can use to support ourselves through life’s transitions, both large and small, is ceremony.
Most of us are familiar with the ceremonies that mark major milestones. We attend graduations, weddings, funerals, baby showers, retirement parties, and housewarming gatherings. These moments help us acknowledge that something significant has occurred.
But often we move through them without fully inhabiting their meaning.
Not everyone approaches these events with a sense of the Sacred that allows the deepest aspects of ourselves to show up and honour what is happening as we cross these thresholds.
Yet when we do approach them with awe, wonder, gratitude, and intention, they become much more than celebrations. They become opportunities to clarify our values, release what no longer serves us, and consciously step into the next chapter of our lives.
Many years ago, a mentor taught me that ceremony is a powerful way to mark change and make it happen.
That distinction stayed with me.
Ceremony is not simply about acknowledging that a transition has occurred. It is about participating in it. It is about crossing the threshold consciously, bringing our hearts, minds, bodies, and spirits along for the journey. And often, our family and friends as witnesses.
My observation is that in Western culture, we do not use ceremony nearly enough. And when we do, we often forget to make it sacred.
This is understandable. Many of us have complicated relationships with traditional religious rituals. We carry stories about rules, expectations, traditions, authority, and belonging. We have differing opinions about what is acceptable, who gets to participate, what is “allowed,” and who gets to decide.
With all that complexity, it becomes easy to focus on the dress, the flowers, the venue, the menu, the photographs.
At the same time, in our increasingly secular world, creating our own rituals can feel awkward. Too sentimental. Too strange. Too “woo-woo.”
And yet human beings have always needed ritual – our ancestors practiced them from our earliest beginnings.
We need ways to honour beginnings and endings.
We need ways to make meaning.
We need ways to embody what matters.
I believe there is a meaningful ceremony waiting inside almost everything we consider important.
A ritual does not need to be elaborate. It simply needs to be intentional.
Recently, I was given the gift of officiating a wedding for the first time, while also supporting a different bride in creating a Bridal and Baby Blessing Ceremony.
Both experiences were magical.
What moved me most, however, was not the ceremonies themselves. It was the preparation.
With Michelle, the bride-and-mother-to-be, we explored the qualities she wanted to embody in her married life. She spent time journaling, reflecting, and listening deeply to herself. When we met again, we began building a ceremony filled with symbols and actions that reflected her values and the women she wished to gather around her.
We also released traditions that did not fit.
That process alone was incredibly freeing.
Together we explored how to lovingly navigate conversations with family members who might be attached to older expectations. We created space for her to honour what mattered without carrying what didn’t.
We did similar work around her transition into motherhood. Out of that exploration emerged a beautiful symbolic act that allowed her community to surround her with their hopes, blessings, and support. Every person present became part of the experience. Every voice mattered.
The process with Courtney and Scott, the wedding couple, was much the same.
Together we explored the values and qualities they wanted to embody as individuals and as partners. Once those foundations were clear, the ceremony practically wrote itself. Every element reflected who they were. Every word felt authentic.
The result was not simply a wedding.
It was an experience of belonging.
Everyone present felt included, connected, and genuinely invested in the promises being made.
Over the years, I have also helped create house blessings, house releasing ceremonies for homes preparing to be sold, pre-surgery rituals, relationship transition ceremonies, grief rituals, retirement celebrations, seasonal and end-of-year reflections.
Before I began chemotherapy several years ago, friends gathered around me for a healing ceremony. I still believe it changed the way I experienced treatment. It helped me move from fear into trust. From isolation into support. From surviving into participating in my own healing.
Ceremony helps us make meaning from difficult times.
It also amplifies the gifts already present in joyful ones.
And while I love ceremonies for life’s major transitions, I am equally passionate about everyday rituals.
In truth, some of the most powerful ceremonies happen quietly.
A cup of tea enjoyed in silence before the household wakes.
A candle lit before meditation.
A gratitude prayer before a meal.
Writing down what you are releasing at the end of each month and safely burning the paper.
Taking a walk around the block after finishing a challenging project.
Pausing at your front door before entering your home and intentionally leaving the stress of the day outside.
Creating a small altar with objects that remind you of your deepest values.
Watching the first snowfall of the season.
Planting flowers in spring with a prayer for what you hope to cultivate.
Gathering family around the dinner table to share one thing they are grateful for.
Celebrating the anniversary of a difficult day you survived.
Welcoming a new season with reflection on what is emerging and what is complete.
These simple acts remind us that life is not something happening to us.
It is something we are participating in.
I love creating ceremonies to mark the end of a season or year and to make room for the next. There is something profoundly healing about regularly clearing what is complete, expressing gratitude for what has been, and setting intentions for what wants to emerge.
This is how we become conscious creators of our lives.
Because in truth, many of us already practice ceremony.
Every meal becomes sacred when we pause to give thanks for the food and all who contributed to bringing it to our table.
Every sunrise we stop to notice is a ceremony.
Every sunset we meet with wonder is a ceremony.
Every moment we choose presence over rushing, gratitude over habit, and intention over autopilot becomes an act of devotion.
And perhaps that is what being a priestess in a modern world really means.
Not creating more rules.
Not performing elaborate rituals.
But helping people remember that the Sacred has never been confined to temples, churches, or special occasions.
It is waiting at every threshold.
Every transition.
Every ordinary moment we are willing to meet with reverence.
I’d love to hear about your ceremonies and rituals … feel free to share them in the comments.